warmth of snow
Those who try to keep their lives will lose them. But those who give up their lives will save them. – Luke 17:33
Faith is the foundation to set-up the ‘home’ in one’s body. Without it, one will only find himself building sand castles by the shore. He will be better off without his sight than depend looking through other people’s eyes; his others senses, in due course, would even amplify to cope up.
My first few years as a born-again Christian sailed smoothly, with a positive heart I tiptoed holding my parent’s clothespin. Yet as I tried crossing seas, all I gathered was a lump of sand on my feet. Caught unprepared to the serpent’s bait, my faith was shaken with ideologies. My family was tested: I saw my pillar of support on his weakest state. With all the stress kept inside me, I developed “character neuroses”, and was later drowned in depression. Like a typical melancholic, I always have the tendency to be down in the dumps right after a sudden burst of joy.
I backslid when everything I have known turned out to be more of a fact than truth. I had it in recurring patterns which lasted for about a year. And there was a heavy toll for me on travelling that road; it cost me pessimism, apathy and fatigue, hypochondria, and withdrawal.
When the poison of the mind influenced the heart, it can spread up to the senses – an idea would become words, and when tolerated, the body will act on its accord. I once thought of death, bursting to tears for no reason, only to cry harder in repentance for fear to God. Nights felt more tiresome than the day. The silence which I always appreciate made me feel alone, giving me a fright. It was the sombre side of waiting. Still, in faith I stood firm, convincing myself to patiently wait.
In His time, God inflicted pain in me – making me see how valuable my physical body is in preparation for His plans, and how important is His creation to my survival. My limitations I faced as challenge to claim recovery and overcome trauma by faith. As the Lord sent the rain, I got my field prepared; He provided me healing of the body and soul. I was reborn, identified with Jesus Christ, who then resides in substitute to my sinful body – transforming me as a new being, restored for the best of life.
Faith is a solo journey to spiritual growth; it is a race I need to run on my own. I still have more to work on; my weaknesses are still there. I shall rise, and definitely will fall a lot more times. Either of the two, I will both gain wisdom. It will mold my heart, giving it courage to face a new day, and will open my eyes, to see the light I will decide to take. It will be harder; more painful than before. Life does have seasons, that, I shall remember; and it is something meant not to be lived in backwards.
Faith is the substance of things we hoped for. So, what comes out of snow? A practical man would answer water. I do hope for spring.
ilaw-dagitab
